Now that real life can move at the speed of the Internet, it often does. Or at least a lot of people seem to think it should--especially when they're trying to lighten their own load by getting rid of unwanted couches, old wooden desks, garage-sale refuse, and even tickets to hot concerts.

Command central for these freebies is Craigslist, the online bulletin board based in San Francisco that has localized offshoots in many other U.S. cities. Browse the Free category on these sites, and you may find everything from Astroturf and hot tubs to robot parts and toothpaste for your dog. But a growing number of people not only ask that you haul away their unwanted junk--they demand that you do so immediately.

"Come today or it's in the trash," read one post offering a phone, a bed frame, and a Christmas tree stand, among other items. It read less like an offer than a threat. Then there was the Wurlitzer organ that just had to go "immediately." If the organ-loving Phantom of the Opera were trolling Craiglist, he'd have a find.

The Internet provides our greatest opportunity for people to recycle unwanted stuff instead of overflowing landfills--but only if it's gone by noon. Can't people plan ahead?

Perhaps we all just have more to do in less time. "It [procrastinating until the last possible moment] is a growing trend, and I don't know the cause of it," says Mike Lamendola, owner of Mindconnection, which offers seminars on time management techniques. He says our television culture might contribute to people feeling constantly short of time, but the bottom line is simple: "People don't plan."

When Procrastination Pays Off

But for bargain hunters, procrastination can sometimes pay off. I pass up concerts all the time because I don't want to pay the blood-letting "convenience" fees charged by ticket outlets. So how about free tickets to see the indie rock band Death Cab for Cutie? Someone in Portland, Oregon taped two tickets to his front door the evening of the concert, then posted to Craigslist, with one request: "Please don't knock. I'm going to bed." He said he hadn't started counting sheep before the tickets were gone--he hadn't even turned off his PC. A follow-up soon announced that the front door was bare.

Similarly, at the last minute Rodney Bender of Portland unloaded his concert tickets to Dark Star Orchestra, a Grateful Dead cover band that reproduces particular concerts in their entirety. He'd tried selling the tickets four days earlier at face value without any luck. So in the spirit of a Grateful Dead fan's "miracle," on the day of the show Rodney offered the tickets for free on Craigslist. "I wanted them to get used," he says. Within an hour of posting, he started receiving e-mails, and they didn't let up throughout the day even though the concert was 100 miles away in Eugene.

But getting back to business. Kristy Westmoreland, an apprentice hair stylist in San Francisco, offers free haircuts to further her studies. When she needed a model one recent Monday at 3:00, she posted at 5:20 p.m. the day before. "When you throw the word 'free' in the mix, you usually get a pretty good turnout," she says. Westmoreland has made several last-minute postings, and says they all worked out well: "Seems like lots of people are hurting for money, and for them to come and get a free haircut for my class time works out well for the both of us."

Craig Newmark, the founder of Craigslist, is happy that the Free category on his site is getting so much use. He says people have told him that they've "always wanted to give other people a break, and recycling by giving stuff away is a good way to do that."

Cities With the Most Free Stuff

Not all giveaways are a Michael Jordan slam dunk. A free couch in Chicago got posted on Thursday, but lasted through Saturday, when it got tossed in the trash. Was it a beauty issue? Maybe not. While both the Portland and Chicago sites received roughly the same number of total postings in April 2004, there were 1000 freebies posted in Portland versus 280 in Chicago. In the same month, 1400 freebies were posted in Los Angeles, 1350 in Boston, and 7000 in the San Francisco Bay area.

Not all free offers are genuine, of course. Ask Mark Thomas who plays the accordion at home: He still doesn't know who impersonated him online, though he suspects it was a disgruntled neighbor. He returned home on April 23 to find 21 messages on his answering machine asking about the free accordion he was itching to get rid of. But he hadn't posted the notice. "Each call was a hilarious sob story of poor people who needed my accordion to do good in the world," he says. "They either wanted it for a sick grandma, or to play for disabled children, or just to launch their musical careers. It was pretty hysterical, actually, but the phone rang consistently every three minutes all day--even after I posted the 'No Free Accordion' ad right above the free one."

Thomas estimates that he received at least 60 calls that day, and emphasized that Portland is not a very big city. Apparently, it's big on recycling--or perhaps just on grabbing free stuff, even if it is an accordion.

Other News: Of Love and Robots

The Science of Love: EHarmony patented its Compatibility Matching System, which the company uses to predict couples' long-term compatibility. The company says that in a recent study of over 1000 married couples, those who met through the service were twice as likely to say they were "extremely happy" in their relationship, versus those who met by other means. But be forewarned: Your extreme happiness will be preceded by a grueling questionnaire that might have you longing for less scientific methods.

ASIMO on Tour: Honda's ASIMO robot recently finished his nationwide tour at Wired's NextFest in San Francisco, after 15 months on the road. And I thought the Rolling Stones had stamina. The robot, which resembles an astronaut, demonstrated its walking, balancing, and, yes, dancing abilities. A Honda spokesperson said more than 80,000 people have seen the show. No trashed hotel rooms were reported.

RoboNexus Conference: In other robot news, a shameless plug. IDG (PC World's parent company) and Robotics Trends will cosponsor RoboNexus, a robotics conference held October 21 to 23 in Santa Clara, California. To register, contact Cherie Harvey at 508/366-6678, ext. 103, or info@roboticstrends.com.

Have comments on The Human Element? Contact Eric Butterfield.