Predictions for 2006

So much for this year, what about 2006? We asked Swami Salami, noted mystic and deli owner, to tell us what he saw coming in the world of technology. The Swami gazed deeply into his Magic 8-Ball and emerged with the following predictions:

Prediction 1: After a brief and tumultuous relationship, Apple Computer and Intel will announce that they are separating, after Intel learns Apple has been seeing Advanced Micro Devices on the side.

Prediction 2: As part of its ongoing agreement with NASA, Google will secure exclusive advertising rights to the moon, where it plans to run text ads on the lunar surface. To increase traffic, the search company will distribute free telescopes to every human on the planet.

Prediction 3: Hollywood's Movielabs R&D center will announce a breakthrough technology that erases viewers' memory of a film; patrons will forget they saw a movie and pay for it all over again.

Prediction 4: Steve Jobs will announce the IPod Synapse, a music player so small it fits inside your brain. Besides delivering music and videos directly to your cerebral cortex, the Synapse will monitor your brain waves and issue a small electrical shock if you think bad thoughts or look twice at the Best Buy special on a Rio MP3 player.

Prediction 5: Later this year, Microsoft will introduce the Vista Omnivorous Media Center that will let you control every appliance in your home from one easy-to-use Windows interface. It will also introduce enhanced phone support: For $35 a call, technicians in Bangalore will tell you how to reboot your washing machine and get the bagel out of the toaster.

Think you can predict the future better than the Swami? Just hit the Discuss link below and sound off. A pound of perfectly sliced pastrami and a tub of German potato salad could be yours (if the Swami sold either--prognosticating takes up more time than running a deli ever did).