Want proof of your awe-inspiring productivity? The USB Hamster Wheel provides a dramatic demonstration. The faster you type, the faster the toy rodent runs, and the faster the wheel spins. Of course, a person could take the metaphor of a hamster running but never getting anywhere in a negative way, so this might not make the best gift.
If you'd rather find new and creative ways to slack off, consider this USB update to an old favorite. When your boss walks by, hit the StealthSwitch to instantly hide that Sudoku Web site and display an important-looking spreadsheet. You can customize the software to switch to any application you want.
Do you regularly have to dodge paperclips and rubber bands launched by your cubicle neighbors? Escalate your inter-desk warfare with this USB Laser-Guided Missile Launcher, which tilts and pivots remotely via the included software. A laser sight helps to ensure accuracy for strategic attacks, or you can connect as many launchers as you have USB ports for some serious shock and awe. (Ambitious coders can also create their own missile-launching applications with the freely downloadable API.)
No matter how much you love your PC, at some point you may want to clobber it into a thousand tiny pieces. Save yourself the expense (and the cleanup) by investing in the ScreenSmasher, a foam axe that comes with a USB sensor. Whack the screen, and your Windows desktop will display an image of shattered glass, along with a crash sound effect. Therapy never came so cheap.