In our ongoing efforts to celebrate slack, here are a few great new ways to kill what little free time you think you have this weekend and beyond.
GTA's Softer Side
Search for "Grand Theft Auto IV" and
Visiting virtual strip clubs ("just like being there - minus the vanilla scent"), doing drugs, driving drunk, carjacking, committing other random felonies...not me, no sir!
I came to this country for a fresh start. I go to work. I sit around the house watching TV. I hit the Internet, and maybe find a girl to date. That's right, I'm living in
First thing about my lame lifestyle: It's slow.
After a long day of transporting fares, go turn on the tube. In the game. Talk shows, comedy acts, commercials, "reality" TV - I'm sitting here, crashing
Then, there's my virtual babe, Michelle. Nice girl. We've gone out a couple times. We've played darts, shot a game of pool, bowled...but the second I took her to the cabaret show, she's giving me the stink-eye. Sheesh! Now I have to get back on her good side. Don't I get enough of this in the real world?
Back to work (virtually). At least just driving around town is relatively easy. Behind the wheel,
I guess I must have zoned out because I slammed through a pedestrian crossing at a red light. Right in front of a cop, no less. Great. The patrol car's lights start blaring, and I...just snap. I can't go to jail! Carving through side streets and accidentally hitting a couple more people, leading an impromptu hyperspeed parade of flashing, wailing cop cars as they follow in hot pursuit.
In a last ditch effort to shake 'em, I jump a ramp and splash down my car in a public pool, Dukes of Hazard style. And it's damn fun.
This game isn't inherently good or evil. Like life, it just is--and your actions determine how things play out. So if you want to