Windows 7 Editions That Microsoft Forgot

Earlier this week, Microsoft announced that Windows 7 would come in six editions. While it sounds like Microsoft will have an edition for everyone and anyone, we feel there are a good number of other Windows 7 editions Microsoft should consider. Here are some of them, listed in no particular order.

Windows 7 XP Edition: For people who want their OS to look like XP in perpetuity. For those who want the ultimate in streamlined operating systems, Windows 7 DOS Edition would be a perfect choice.

Windows 7 Clippy Edition: Gives you lots of "helpful" advice and will offer to guide you through even the most mundane tasks with the help of friendly cartoon characters. "It appears you are trying to open a folder! Do you need help?"

Windows 7 Economic Stimulus Edition: It's very big, massively expensive, may or may not work, and includes a "bug" that adds three zeroes to all numbers. Ideally, the government will pay for a copy for every citizen.

Windows 7 I CAN HAZ OPERATING SYSTEM? Edition: Everything in the operating system would be written in lolcat form. It would allow Microsoft to cash in on the lolcat Internet meme: "SRY, U HAD ERROR. KTHXBYE." This edition would integrate The Lolcat Translator just in case you get confused.

Windows 7 Klingon Edition: Perfect for Star Trek fans everywhere, this edition would be written entirely in Klingon. It would serve as a companion product to the Lolcat edition. No Klingon-to-English translator would be included, since any self-respecting Trekkie should already be fluent in Klingon.

Windows 7 Zombie Edition: Optimizes your PC for takeover by a botnet commandante, who can then streamline instructions for efficiency and fast performance. (This may already exist in earlier Windows OSs.)

Windows 7 LGE (Lead Generation Edition): Requires a full set of personal information from the user before it will operate, and then shares that information with interested third parties for a small fee; also removes any option to mask your identity or disable/erase cookies.

What other Windows 7 editions would you like to see from Microsoft? Post a comment below and let us know!

To comment on this article and other PCWorld content, visit our Facebook page or our Twitter feed.
Shop Tech Products at Amazon