8. Microsoft Tries to Party
Quick: Where were you on October 22, 2009?
If you said "at a Windows 7 launch party," I call shenanigans. According to my highly scientific estimations, only one person actually followed Microsoft's instructions for hosting a Microsoft-themed bash in honor of its latest Windows' release. His name is Robert Strohmeyer, and he's an editor at PCWorld. (To be fair, I did hear his party was pretty wild.)
Robert aside, though, Microsoft's attempt at building buzz for its Windows 7 release couldn't have been more uncool. Just watch the official Windows 7 launch party instruction video, and you'll immediately see what I mean.
My goodness! That incredibly diverse and casual group of people sure seems to be having a blast. Pardon me while I gag.
Here's the thing: Windows 7, while far from perfect, was a tremendous improvement over Vista, its predecessor. But an occasion to throw a party, complete with Microsoft-themed activities, it was not.
On the upside, Microsoft's highly contrived effort did give us some pretty funny parodies. Now, that's something worth celebrating.
9. An Audio Company Makes Terrible Sounds
Holy MC Hammer, the heinous rapping never ends. Check out this UK-originated ad by audio company Amstrad, and just try to tell me that isn't the same guy who did the singing for Milli Vanilli.
The Amstrad Studio 100 may let you "be a DJ and get demos made," but if those demos sound anything like the track on this horribly unhip (yes, even by 1985 standards) commercial, you're in serious trouble.
10. Steve Ballmer Monkeys Around
We end with a moment so uncool, it makes Steve Urkel look like Mick Jagger.
At a Microsoft developers' conference in the early 2000s, Steve Ballmer set out to energize his audience and build excitement about his company's future. Instead, he managed to create a comedy cult classic with his now-infamous chanting of "Developers! Developers! Developers!"
Go ahead--chant along. You know you want to.
Aside from being uncool in the literal sense--I mean, really, have you ever seen a man sweat that much?--Ballmer's maniacal moment failed to generate much other than laughter.
Actually, let me modify that statement: It also inspired some pretty sweet club-ready "Developers!" remixes. With beats like that, The Dude would definitely abide.
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