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What do baby astronauts, chip-loving goats, heart-tugging horses, and the rampaging elderly have in common? They all appeared in commercials during the 2013 Super Bowl.
Each year, these ads seem to get crazier and crazier, so how does 2013’s crop hold up? Let's take a look, starting with the newest version of an old favorite.
The same brand that gave us "Whassuppp?!" and the Budweiser frogs—as well as cozy vignettes about Clydesdales—goes for the heartstrings again with horses in this Super Bowl ad.
Doritos: "Goat 4 Sale"
Doritos had five finalists from its “Crash the Super Bowl” fan-made commercial contest. The one that seemed to generate the most buzz was this Doritos-crazy goat entry.
Toyoto RAV4: "Wish Granted"
In this spot, The Big Bang Theory’s Kaley Cuoco plays a wish-granting genie who lives inside a new Toyota RAV4.
It’s your typical cowboys vs. showgirls vs. badlanders story. The three groups are seen racing through the desert to get to a giant bottle of refreshing Coke, and it was up to the public to decide who wins. Unfortunately Coke's voting site went down during the game, and the project was a FAIL.
Next: GoDaddy and more
GoDaddy: "Your Big Idea.co"
You know that amazing new invention idea you have? GoDaddy wants you to claim it before anyone else does by registering a domain and putting it online. Because we all know that doing that instantly leads to you sipping champage on a private jet.
GoDaddy: "Perfect Match"
However, the above ad was more palatable than this second GoDaddy offering with its gross-out factor:
Kia Sorento: "Space Babies"
If you’ve ever thought ‘this commercial would be great, if it only had more parachuting baby animals,’ then this Kia Sorento ad is right up your alley. It also offers a creative “birds and the bees” alternative to tell your kids.
Audi: "Prom Tradition"
In this Audi Super Bowl spot, a high schooler goes “stag” to the prom, only to learn the valuable lesson that all it takes to win the love of your life is to drive a sleek car. If only we’d all had nice new Audis back then.
Next: Hyundai, Wheat Thins, and more
Hyundai Sonata: "Stuck"
When you’re driving it’s best to be in front, especially when stuck behind the manner of things featured in this Hyundai commercial. Leave the toxic sludge-spewing trucks for all the schmucks who don’t have Hyundais, right?
Wheat Thins: "Night Vision"
Wheat Thins ups the weird with this Super Bowl ad, which featured a paranoid man guarding his precious crackers with night-vision goggles.
An attractive family of Italians exits a Fiat 500L to meet and greet their American hosts—relationship unknown. The 500L is large and, to the delightful surprise of the American father, full of beautiful women. It's like that old VW Beetle full-of-clowns gag, only with sex appeal.
Hyundai's really made a name for itself in the past few years. This ad compares the relatively-affordable Genesis luxury sedan to its more expensive competitors: more horsepower than a BMW 550i, 0-60 mph faster than a Porsche Panamera S. Yup, and the design of a 12-year old Mercedes. That's where the money is, Lebowski.
A kid is denied a spot in a pickup football game, and told to "come back when you've got a team." So with his mom behind the wheel of a new Santa Fe. the kid runs around town recruiting a pack of rugged, heroic, work-hardened teammates.
Next: Pepsi, Taco Bell, and more
Pepsi keeps coming out with new concoctions of water and sugar that promise to taste more and more like regular Pepsi, without the need for exercise. Lump in a house party and voila!
Taco Bell: "Grandpa Goes Wild"
An old man, energized by what we can only assume is a potent cocktail of Doritos Locos tacos and Mountain Dew, bursts to life driving a blazing mobility scooter. He runs amuck on a football field.
Fish love beer, especially serenading a bottle with smooth 90s Rn'B music. It's a known fact. This ad feels odd—like some marketing mastermind figured that kids who were 11 at the time the movie Finding Nemo came out are now old enough to drink.
Speed Stick: "Unattended Laundry"
This spot features an awkward laundromat situation with a dash of sexy edge. Apparently Speed Stick will keep you cool in these hot situations.
Volkswagen: "Get in. Get Happy."
You be the judge if this ad from Volkswagen is mildly racist toward Jamaicans (apparently everyone except Caribbeans think so). It features an office worker from Minnesota speaking in a Jamaican accent, telling coworkers to turn their frowns the “other way ‘round.” All thanks to the good vibes his shiny new VW Beetle provides, of course.
Next: Samsung, Sketchers, Iron Man 3, and more
Samsung: "The Next Big Thing"
Seth Rogan and Paul Rudd starred in Samsung's Super Bowl spot.
Iron Man 3: "Extended Look"
A new teaser ad for the latest Iron Man movie aired. It featured Robert Downey Jr. ...and explosions!
Sketchers: "Man vs. Cheetah"
Our money was on the cheetah. Oh, well.
Calvin Klein: "Concept"
What all Super Bowl fans look like in their own minds.