About a year ago, I wrote an article for this site that began by praising the craft required to produce a spam header intriguing enough to coax an innocent recipient into opening the unsolicited message (see "Straight to the Spam Folder: Astonishing E-Mail Messages You'll Never Open"). Then I spent the rest of the story mocking various spam headers that editors at PCWorld had recently received.
It turns out that I enjoyed the mocking more than the praising. So here are several dozen new specimens of the spammer's art--rescued from my e-mail program's spam filter over the past year, lovingly curated, and then given the Fozzie Bear treatment. As before, the header is exactly as found in the quarantine zone, though the senders' names have been altered slightly for the usual cowardly legal reasons.
News Flashes You May Have Missed
Earth isn't round!
It's just large-boned.
Major stock crisis news forthcoming
...details when it's too late.
That's not what Fox News is reporting.
FDIC has officially named your bank a failed bank
About time it got some recognition.
Ow each province to work out responsible
But first they have to stop hitting me!
Sellers You Can Trust
You may never make a bigger decision than visiting our website here
Especially if your life is as pathetic and meaningless as we suspect.
When you don?t know what to do from pain, ask us for help.
We specialize in selling things to people whose suffering has impaired their judgment.
Get the real pills for free
The business model here sounds fascinating.
$20,000 for just $100 59% off
I'll bet this guy used to work as a hedge fund manager.
Call for your diploma now.
"And that one is my PhD from Funpartiesbytraci University."
Get a degree with no problems.
My last degree was passive-aggressive, with codependency issues.
Universities don?t give as much knowledge as you need, buy diploma now.
For instance, they rarely teach students how to tell a good deal on a fake diploma from a bad one.
Imagine having a designer watch for a funny price.
I don't think he means "ha-ha."
A decent watch will raise you in the eyes of everybody.
But an indecent one will get you invited to more parties.
Add peculiarity to your style with our watches.
Or accessorize with some tics of your own.
Be careful ? our watches are extremely che ap.
Do these guys ever sell anything?