Dumb and Dumber Products of the Year

Products Implement Technology for Its Own Sake

The Song-Title-Catching Key Chain: You're driving around. A song comes on the radio that you like, but the dumb DJ forgets to mention the title and artist. Solution? Simply aim the EMarker, a small device on your key chain, at the radio and push a button.

If the radio station is one of a teensy handful supporting this technology, the name of the song and the artist will be "bookmarked" by the EMarker. Then all you have to do is plug the EMarker into your computer, go to the EMarker.com Web site, and find out all the details about the song.

One question: Wouldn't it be a smidge easier to simply call the radio station?

The Home Bar-Code Scanner/Web Page Finder: The CueCat Reader "keystroke automator" is a free handheld device that attaches to your computer. When you scan the mouse-size device across UPC, ISBN, and other product codes, the CueCat automatically finds a Web page that's relevant to the scanned product code or advertisement.

"The CueCat Reader connects to your keyboard port and will not interfere with your mouse or keyboard function ... though you'll probably find you use them less often, since the CueCat reader eliminates the tasks of typing in long URLs and hunting for hidden or confusing links," proclaims the device's promotional Web page.

Before you dismiss the device as entirely impractical, however, consider this: The CueCat Reader may one day enable you to perform brain scans at home, too.

An Artificial What?

The Virtual TV Celebrity: As the world's first 3D virtual news anchor, Ananova has extended the glorious tradition of vapid television reporting. With her green hair and expressionless face, Ananova comes off as a cross between a punk rocker and an IRS agent, and has set scientists everywhere to wondering: Which came first, robots or Dan Rather?

The E-Mail Game: For those who have absolutely, positively nothing else better to do, there's the online version of the venerable child's game Rock, Paper, Scissors played via e-mail.

You challenge a friend to a game by entering both of your e-mail addresses at the Emazing.com site. You then make your play by clicking on the rock, paper, or scissors icon. Your opponent receives an HTML-formatted message, inviting them to play. Once they make their choice, Emazing.com determines the winner and notifies you both via e-mail.

Coming next: An electronic version of Kick the Can, using Global Positioning System receivers.

The Body-Area Network: Consumer electronics giant Philips Electronics and clothing manufacturer Levi Strauss teamed up this year to unveil a line of wired clothing in Europe. First up: jackets that come equipped with a mobile phone, an MP3 player, a remote control unit, and headphones in the hood. All the devices on this "body-area network" are connected by cables stitched into the fabric.

As a follow-up, we hear that Levi's is now working on a pair of wired jeans in conjunction with the makers of the shocking briefcase. The jeans are designed especially for dieters who need a little extra help kicking the food habit. Whenever the waist begins to expand, the pants automatically jolt the wearer in the groin with 100,000 volts of electricity.

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