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Tackle Teen Safety

Teenagers are most at risk on the Internet, in part because parents have loosened the strings that restrain their activities. Older kids use the Web differently, too.

"[They] have individual interests, tend to go online when they're bored, and are interested in talking to other people," says Janis Wolak, a research assistant professor with the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire. "Plus, there's an element of kids being curious about sexual things," which are easy to find online.

These ten tips can help you keep kids ages 12 and up safe.

Speak truthfully. Open the lines of communication between you and your children. Don't just set the ground rules for Internet use and leave it at that. "It's important to talk frankly with your kids about sexual solicitation and pornography," says Wolak.

If they accidentally click a link to an innocent-sounding but actually offensive Web site, make sure they explain to you what happened and understand what they should do in the future. Encourage them to confide in you when they see inappropriate text or graphics.

Know your child's online habits. As kids grow older, most parents keep less careful tabs on their activities, but you shouldn't completely ignore what they're up to. Find out about the Internet activities your kids participate in, including music downloads, AOL chats, Usenet newsgroups, IRC chat, and instant messaging. Keep your child's e-mail address as private as possible and set privacy preferences in the software your kid uses.

Set the computer in plain sight. Some parents decide to put the family's PC in a common area of the house. "It's important to be in the vicinity, giving a peek every so often," believes Giliane Bader-Wechseler, a mother of a 17-year-old son and an administrator at Boston University. "They need to know they're being monitored."

Crack down on chat. When the Crimes Against Children Research Center polled 1500 children and parents about online safety, chat proved to be the most dangerous Internet activity. In fact, 65 percent of online sexual solicitations happened in chat rooms.

Instant messages were a distant second at 24 percent; Web sites at 4 percent; online gaming sites, message boards, and newsgroups at 3 percent total; e-mail at 2 percent; and unknown sources at 2 percent.

Chat is dangerous because most rooms are not moderated and may be frequented by shady characters. If your children use chat, monitor their sessions and steer them toward moderated chat rooms.

Some of the same cautions apply to instant messaging. Dutton's daughter has received sexual solicitations through AOL instant messages. Wary of such incidents, he asked her to remove an offensive screen name from her buddy list. "She and her friends understand that there are limits and know that their parents are watching," says Dutton.

Step on spam. Typically kids come across sexual material through e-mail distributed by adult sites. Even if these messages don't include explicit photos, they almost always embed links to their sites; one click, and your child can be viewing hard-core porn. So install a spam-sniffing utility like Spam Killer, which blocks unwanted e-mail. Or ask your ISP if it offers a spam filter. For more tips on battling spam, see "Spam: It Happens."

Enforce a time limit. "Parents I've spoken to want to make sure that their kids aren't online until 4 a.m. on a school night," says Tom Powledge, a product manager for Symantec, which makes Internet security software. Imposing a limit can minimize visits to chat rooms, while still allowing access for schoolwork. If informal limits don't work, consider a utility such as Lockdown, Cyber Patrol, or NetNanny, that prohibits Web access at certain hours.

Scrutinize the browser's history file. Betty Ollen, an administrator at Boston University and the mother of two teens, is as pragmatic as parents come. "If kids want to," she says, "they can get around controls or filters you put in place."

Having discussed acceptable use of the Internet with her 14- and 16-year-olds, she relies on the home computer's history file to review the sites they visit and determine whether they are toeing the line. In Internet Explorer, for instance, you can see a list of recently visited sites by selecting View/Explorer Bar/History.

Manage your ISP account. Control your family's Internet account and its password. "I insisted that my daughter give me her password on her own [AOL] account," says Dutton, who voiced his concern about AOL Instant Messenger's potential for abuse. "I reassured her that I wouldn't use her password [except] when I think there's a danger." If you access your child's e-mail or saved chats, explain your reasons for doing so.

Outwit online fraud. Web auctions (such as EBay) are the most common paths to fraud, according to the Internet Fraud Watch. Warn kids about the dangers. "Parents should help children with analytical skills, no matter what the media; point out the difference between ads and other content and how to tell whether something is believable or not," says Grant.

Restrict online purchases without permission, even if teens have their own credit card. And check your credit card bills for unusual charges.

Report suspicious characters. If your child is sexually solicited or stalked online, inform local authorities. You can find links to state police departments at GetNetWise.

Report incidents to your ISP and to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children's CyberTipline, which will forward your report to law enforcement officials and, when appropriate, to the sender's ISP. If an online contact tries to lure your child into a face-to-face meeting, contact the FBI.

Fight Back

The Net city has its bleak side, sure, but not all its streets are risky. The Web is a great place for kids to learn, congregate, and entertain themselves. You just have to educate your child about staying away from the dangerous parts of town. "I think most kids have a lot of common sense," says Wolak. "In most cases, they know how to get out of [harmful] situations." That may be true--but only if you show them how.