• PC World
• »Phones
• »Smart Phones

3. Locate a GPS Chip

It's the next must-have feature for cell phones, even if it is a little creepy. But the fact that the iPhone has a groovy Maps app--but no GPS chip inside--is almost weird.

Yes, the iPhone can now triangulate the user's position through Wi-Fi and cell towers, thanks to a firmware upgrade last January. And if all folks care about is being within a half mile of the actual destination, that's fine. But if people want to track their buddies using services such as Loopt, they have to buy a GPS phone from Sprint/Nextel--and that's just wrong.

GPS can open up a whole new world of surveillance options for interested parties, and we know you believe the black helicopters are already following you at night. But those choppers belong to Steve Ballmer, and he's really just looking for Larry Page's house.

The rumor mill says GPS will be part of the longed-for-but-still-theoretical 3G iPhone. Let's hope so.

4. Richer Multimedia Tools, Please

You put the "pod" in podcasting, and for that everyone is grateful. So where are the tools that let me create podcasts on the fly, such as voice and video recorders?

While I'm at it, why can I take pictures with the iPhone's 2-megapixel camera but not e-mail or text-message them? When I'm out partying with my BFFs, I can't take snaps and share them with all my other BFFs. You're totally killing my creative buzz, dude.

And what about support for Web video? I know you've dissed Adobe Flash, but what are you offering as an alternative? Even Windows Mobile phones support Flash and Silverlight. When those dorks are beating you to rich media, that's just embarrassing. You need to do something about that, stat.

5. Open the Sucker Up

I've heard all about the sweetheart deal you cut with AT&T, how you took their candy away and made them cry, forcing them to give you $10 per subscriber every month in exchange for five years of exclusivity.

I don't care. AT&T's voice coverage is spotty at best, and it has a reputation for customer service rivaled only by the Russian Mafia.

You came to be the Almighty Jobs by listening to your users, and for that you deserve props. So listen to this: At least one out of every five iPhones has been unlocked or is otherwise unaccounted for. Your users are sending you a pretty loud message--can you hear them now?

That's not all I'd like to see fixed, of course. It would also be nice to copy text from one appplication and paste it in another, delete more than one e-mail message at a time, forward voice mail and text messages, sync the device without a cable, set default alarms inside the calendar, and view iCal appointments in full living color. But we'll leave those things to your budding army of software developers.

One more thing: If I have to hear "one more thing" at another of your product soirees, I'm gonna hurl. You need a new catchphrase, something short and snappy like "Fo shizzle, ma nizzle" or simply "D'oh!"

Give me a call. And next time, no pretending you're the Fake Steve Jobs. I can tell when it's really you.

Regards,

Dan Tynan