The Macalope

Editors' Note: Each week the Macalope skewers the worst of the week's coverage of Apple and other technology companies. In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

There are some days when the Macalope feels it would be more fun to deal with actual trolls than the Internet variety. Business Insider's Henry Blodget gets a twofer this week. First, he makes like Prince and says "Oh, no, let's go cray-zee!" about iPhone tracking. Then he's back on the iPhone's market share being "dead in the water." Never fear, though. The Macalope will cleanse your palate from the sour taste of bad Blodget, as a former target of his antlers makes good.

Editors' Note: Each week the Macalope skewers the worst of the week's coverage of Apple and other technology companies. In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

Is the iPad having an effect on the PC market? Shockingly, two PC vendors say "no"! For some sound analysis on the iPhone tracking issue, the Macalope turns to the least trusted name in Apple news. And last, isn't comparing the iPad to the PlayBook and Xoom unfair? OMG, it's so totally unfair!

Editors' Note: Each week the Macalope skewers the worst of the week's coverage of Apple and other technology companies. In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

Don't you hate it when you see someone making destructive life choices? You feel like you're screaming "NOOOOOOOOO!" in slow motion while they proceed to dig themselves deeper and deeper into a hole. That pretty much describes watching RIM this week. Speaking of mistakes, Computerworld makes the fallacious leap that when two people repeat a rumor, it's confirmed! Finally, while developing for Android may not be a mistake, not also developing for iOS certainly is.

Editors' Note: Each week the Macalope skewers the worst of the week's coverage of Apple and other technology companies. In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

That's right, the "Android versus iOS is Windows versus the Mac all over again!" argument is back! It's the zombie argument that won't die! It keeps coming back to eat your brain! After trying to beat it to death with a baseball bat (we must have forgotten the double tap), we'll take a look at how the RIM PlayBook is doing. And we'll laugh. Ohhh, how we'll laugh. Finally, the Macalope refuses to talk about that person again this week! You know the one!

Editors' Note: Each week the Macalope skewers the worst of the week's coverage of Apple and other technology companies. In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

It's that time of year again when we look back at those who inflicted mental cruelty and suffering on us over the last 12 months, shake our fists at the heavens, and cry "WHYYYYYYYYYYY?!"

Editors' Note: Each week the Macalope skewers the worst of the week's coverage of Apple and other technology companies. In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

It wasn't supposed to go down like this. The Macalope had other things to talk about. Like how funny RIM continues to be, and the guy who groused about iPad lines, and how Motorola promises the next Xoom will be the real winner and…and…

Editors' Note: Each week the Macalope skewers the worst of the week's coverage of Apple and other technology companies. In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

iPad competitors don't seem to be doing so well so it's time to make some up! Then the Macalope consoles the Winotaur over the death of the Zune. Well, "consoles" is probably the wrong word. "Mocks" is probably closer. And Jon Bon Jovi fondly remembers all the ways the music business used to be able to take your money before Steve Jobs ruined everything.

Editors' Note: Each week the Macalope skewers the worst of the week's coverage of Apple and other technology companies. In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

This week the Macalope takes on a pundit who would have long since been thrown in jail if misleading coverage of Apple were a three-strikes crime. Sadly, the government does nothing about these reckless jackanapes! These miscreants with keyboards roam our streets, flouting the laws of logic and defying all decency! And has this repeat offender infected a bastion of the Apple-covering press?! Will nothing stop this madman?!

Editors' Note: Each week the Macalope skewers the worst of the week's coverage of Apple and other technology companies. In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

Next week, when Apple customers are enjoying their second-generation iPads, RIM customers will still be wondering what this whole tablet thing is about. RIM developers, on the other hand, will just be wondering how to actually get coding. Meanwhile, an iPad subscription content provider made a telling remark this week and, while it was tough to pick just one, the Macalope will share with you his favorite silly coverage of the iPad 2 announcement.

Editors' Note: Each week the Macalope skewers the worst of the week's coverage of Apple and other technology companies. In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

Steve Jobs's health was back in the "news" this week, where by "news" the Macalope means "jerktastic speculation mill." Meanwhile, the technology pundits hailed the arrival of the Motorola Xoom, the Android-based tablet that will totally give the iPad a run for its money this time for sure, mister! And it only took them a year. Lastly, someone keys a barb at Apple that the Macalope enjoys. It can happen!

Editors' Note: Each week, the Macalope skewers the worst of the week's coverage of Apple and other technology companies. In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

Apple announced its new subscription service and terms for iOS apps this week and, just as people in Egypt and Wisconsin have taken to the literal streets to protest, pundits took to the virtual streets to rail against the establishment, man! And who turned the iPhone rumor machine on high? LU-CY!

Editors' Note: Each week the Macalope skewers the worst of the week's coverage of Apple and other technology companies. In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.

Something in the air this week has the Macalope thinking about the classics. He's wondering if Steve Ballmer's latest executive shuffle makes him a brilliant leader or if this purge just means Microsoft's turned into the island in Lord of the Flies. The Macalope then wonders who are these Lennie Smalls having antenna problems with their iPhone 4s. One thing's for sure, though: these ham-fisted giants are not the target market for the rumored iPhone nano.