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Having trouble with Windows? Hey, join the crowd. Because no matter what kind of shape your system is in, you'll eventually face a Windows crash, a quirky error message, or the obnoxious Blue Screen of Death.

Even after writing a troubleshooting article and a Home Office column on the subject (see below), I know many of you are still bothered by Windows problems. I know because I received a virtual tractor-trailer full of e-mail, most with specific questions about driver problems at boot-up, shutdown errors, DLL hassles, and Internet Explorer crashes.

So in the next few columns, I'll give you ways to work through common problems, and I'll provide links to specific Microsoft and third-party sites. I urge you to save these columns even if you're not facing these precise issues today--there's a good chance you might bump into similar problems in the future. And since Easter's almost here, I'll supply you with some of my favorite Easter Eggs--those strange, hidden messages in Windows and other applications.

OK, if you haven't already read it, start by digging into my recent article "Troubleshooting Tips: Keep Your PC Humming."

Then check out the "Ultimate PC Troubleshooting Guide," which my cohort Kirk Steers and I wrote.

Dig this: Learning to fix your own PC problems can be a real time-saver. Try calling the number 800/888-3999. Listen to the choices, and select option 7. You'll find out how a typical IS department responds when you ask for tech support.

Shut Me Down, Will Ya?

I was surprised by how many people wrote to me asking about Fast Shutdown problems. The most common complaint: Doing a normal shutdown from the Start menu resulted in a flashing cursor in the upper-left corner of an otherwise empty screen.

Understanding that Windows is doing a few things when it's shutting down will help you comprehend the troubleshooting process. First the OS completes any lingering disk-write functions and flushes the disk cache. Next it closes any open applications and unloads drivers.

OK now, fair warning: You'll notice my liberal use of "likely," "probably," and "chances are good that...." I'm taking this approach because you may experience problems that are unique to your PC, and it's going to be hard to pinpoint the specific problem without lots of trial and error--and rebooting.

One problem is that something, maybe a program's DLL or a driver, is getting caught somewhere in the process when you shut your system down. It could be a new antivirus program you recently installed, some brain-dead utility that doesn't follow Windows rules, or maybe something as simple as bad karma from a previous lifetime.

Try this first: Don't shut down Windows with any applications open. Instead, close everything, including items in the system tray that can be unloaded. If the shutdown works as you expect--you get the 'Windows is shutting down' message--you know one of the programs is jamming up the works. Next time, leave only one application (or one system tray item) open at a time as you shut down. If one application causes the problem--likely something in the system tray--you've found the culprit.

Still No Luck?

Check what's loading in the background when you boot. Believe me, there's more going on behind the scenes than you think. You'll need to eliminate each item that's loading and add back one item at a time, rebooting and shutting down after each. I did an entire column on this issue: "Reduce Windows Clutter, Improve Performance." I encourage you to read it.

Time for a break: This Easter Egg works with Word versions 97 through 2000. (Note that you must have the 'Replace text as you type' check box selected in the Tools, AutoCorrect dialog box for this to work.)

1. Open a document and type =rand() on a separate line
   
   
2. Press Enter
   
   
3. Watch the text appear
   
   
4. Change the amount of text by adding numbers, say, =rand(15,22) or =rand(50,50)
   
   
5. Wonder what this means and why you're bothering with it
   
   
6. Immediately pass this trick along to a friend.
   
   

More Shutdown Fixes

A few readers mentioned this bizarre cause of shutdown difficulties: Using the mouse to shut down instead of the keyboard resulted in problems (and no, upgrading the mouse drivers didn't help). Try doing it both ways and see if there's a difference on your PC.

Here are some tips if you're using Windows 98 or Windows 98 Second Edition. If you're using Windows 98, try applying the update to SE. That removes Microsoft's ill-advised and poorly implemented Fast Shutdown feature. Already using Win 98 SE? Run the update again, as another program may have honked up the update. You can find the recommended upgrade in our Downloads library.

Take another break: Using America Online 5.0 or 6.0? Here's a cute Easter Egg:

1. Open AOL's Keyword dialog box
   
   
2. Type aol://1391:43-52114
   
   
3. Watch a little box pop up on your screen that shows you ... well, I don't want to spoil it for you.
   
   

Don't Shut Down: There's Online Help

If you're using a very fast computer--like a 900-MHz machine or faster (you should only be so lucky)--with an ATA100 hard drive and a large physical cache, you may be vulnerable to shutdown problems. Read "Data Loss Threatens Fast Windows Systems."

For a terrific page with step-by-step wizards for troubleshooting Windows problems, check out the Microsoft Troubleshooters.

You might want to jump right to the Shutdown problems, so here's where to look:

• Windows 95 Troubleshooter
  
  
• Windows 98 Troubleshooter
  
  
• Windows Millennium Edition Troubleshooter
  
  

Take another break: Want to impress your boss? Wait until the next time he asks, "Hey, what's the Roman numeral equivalent of 49?" Quickly open a Word document and hold down the Ctrl and Alt keys while tapping the L key 57 times.

Another site that you've just got to visit is James A. Eshelman's Windows Shutdown Troubleshooting: 15 Steps. It has a tremendously valuable explanation of shutdown problems with lots of nifty solutions.

Microsoft also provides a surplus of articles relating to shutdown issues (all seemingly without admitting guilt):

• How to Troubleshoot Windows Me Shutdown Problems
  
  
• Windows 98 Second Edition Shutdown Supplement
  
  
• How to Troubleshoot Windows 98 Shutdown Problems
  
  
• Antivirus Program Causes Computer to Stop Responding When You Shut Down
  
  
• How to Disable Fast Shutdown in Windows 98
  
  
• Problems Shutting Down Windows 98 Second Edition
  
  

Take one more break: Some elevators include a neat hidden feature that's terrific if you're in a hurry. Try pressing the button of the floor you want to go to and the Door Close button at the same time. If it works, the elevator pops into an "express" mode, moving you directly to the floor of your choice and avoiding stops at any other floor. Penthouse, please. (Thanks to Eeggs.com for all these Easter Eggs.)

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