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Pssst! Yeah, you. Need a distraction? Well, now's the time to look for the strange and bizarre surprises hidden deep in many software applications. Secret games, wacky sounds, mysterious displays of programmers' names--even ways to cheat at games.

I'm talking about Easter eggs--buried treasure, concealed tricks, features, and sometimes bugs that take special keystrokes and mouse clicks to find. Read on for our top ten favorites.

Fair warning: Most of these Easter eggs will only work in the program versions we specify. So while you might find a gem in Word 97, say, it may not work at all in Word 2000. If you're not sure what version of a particular program you have, most programs store this information in the Help menu. After you select the Help tab, click the About menu item.

So you've followed the keystrokes exactly and nothing has happened? It could be related to the configuration of your keyboard or a patch you installed.

By the way, not all Easter eggs are in programs. I'll show you a handful tucked away on Web sites, including a search engine.

Secret Number One: (You need: Windows 98 or Windows 98 Second Edition.)

Kudos by Microsoft to Microsoft

1. Using your mouse, right-click an empty spot on your Windows desktop.
   
   
2. Select New, Shortcut.
   
   
3. Select Browse and find the C:\Windows\Application Data\Microsoft\Welcome folder.
   
   
4. Select Weldata.exe by double-clicking the file. The file name will appear at the end of your shortcut's command line.
   
   
5. Click Next.
   
   
6. Click Finish to save your shortcut.
   
   
7. Right-click your newly created shortcut and select Properties.
   
   
8. Be careful: Click the Shortcut tab.
   
   
9. In the Target field, scroll to the end of the command line, (right after "...Weldata.exe"), add a space after the quotation mark, and then add this exact string of characters: You_are_a_real_rascal.
   
   
10. In the Run area, select Minimized.
    
    
11. Click OK to save your changes.
    
    
12. Back on the desktop, double-click the new shortcut.
    
    
13. Turn your speakers up and get ready for some music. Feel a sense of accomplishment as you watch the credits and listen to the beat. You'll see a long list of Windows 98 team members' names, along with photos of where they work and play. It's not as boring as it sounds.
    
    

Secret Number Two: (You need: Word 2000 and Microsoft's annoying Office Assistant.)

Hey, It's Uncle Bill

1. Open a new Word 2000 document.
   
   
2. Type Bill Ggates (yep, misspelled!).
   
   
3. Choose Help, Show the Office Assistant.
   
   
4. You need to get Rocky--the canine version of the assistant--on the scene. If you don't have Rocky as your default, right-click on the assistant icon, highlight Choose Assistant, and click Next until Rocky shows up. (You may need to insert your Office 2000 CD at this point.)
   
   
5. Run Word's spelling checker by clicking the ABC icon in the toolbar, and watch Rocky react to his boss's name.
   
   
6. If Rocky doesn't do something cute the first time, perform the spelling check a few times.
   
   

Secret Number Three: (You need: Microsoft Word 97, 2000, or Word 2002.)

Gimme a Random Number

1. In Word, select Tools, AutoCorrect. In the dialog box that appears, is the Replace text as you type box checked? If it isn't, check that box. Now you're ready to go.
   
   
2. Open a new document and type =rand().
   
   
3. Press Enter.
   
   
4. Watch the sequence of sentences appear, feel a chuckle coming on, and try to make sense of the repetitive text.
   
   
5. Experiment and change the amount of text by adding different digits, say, =rand(15,22) or =rand(50,50).
   
   
6. Watch the mysterious text appear again and feel more chuckles coming on.
   
   
7. Immediately pass this trick along to a friend.
   
   

Secret Number Four: (You need: AOL version 5.0 or higher, including 7.0.)

AOL Surprise

1. Turn up your sound a bit.
   
   
2. Within your AOL program, go to the AOL keyword search field.
   
   
3. Type aol://1391:43-52114.
   
   
4. Watch a little box pop up on your screen that shows you something very cute. It will wave to you. (That's all I'll say. I don't want to spoil it all for you.)
   
   

Secret Number Five: (You need: Windows 98 or Windows 98 Second Edition.)

Geology Lesson

1. Select Start, Settings, Control Panel and launch Display.
   
   
2. Choose the Screen Saver tab.
   
   
3. Select 3D Text in the Screen Saver drop-down list and click Settings.
   
   
4. In the Display Text box, type volcano.
   
   
5. Then watch names of volcanoes float across your screen. Cool, eh?
   
   

Secret Number Six: (You need: Windows 95 or Windows 98.)

Win Your Own Hand

1. Choose Start, Programs, Accessories, Games and open FreeCell.
   
   
2. Press F3 and enter either -1 or -2 into the dialog box.
   
   
3. Click OK.
   
   
4. Win at FreeCell in no time at all.
   
   

Secret Number Seven: (You need: Excel 2000 and DirectX.)

Espionage in Excel

1. Open a new worksheet in Excel 2000.
   
   
2. Select File, Save as Web Page.
   
   
3. Select Publish and check the box marked Add interactivity with.
   
   
4. Save the file as spy.html. Be sure to note the folder you saved the file in.
   
   
5. Load Internet Explorer, and choose File, Open and locate spy.html. The spreadsheet should appear in the middle of the page.
   
   
6. Scroll to row 2000, column WC. Select row 2000, and move the tab key until WC is the active column in that row.
   
   
7. Hold down Shift-Crtl-Alt and click the Office logo in the upper-left corner of the dialog box.
   
   
8. Get ready to play a spy hunter-type game. Use your keyboard to move around and make things happen: The arrow keys let you drive; the space bar will let you fire; "O" lets you drop oil slicks; and "H" will turn on your headlights when it gets dark.
   
   

Secret Number Eight: (You need: Acrobat Reader 4.0.)

Doggy Sounds in Adobe

1. Open up Acrobat Reader.
   
   
2. Choose Help, About Plug-ins, Acrobat Forms.
   
   
3. Hold down Control-Alt-Shift and click the Credits button.
   
   
4. You should hear a dog bark, the button face will change to say "woof," and the Adobe logo will turn into a dog paw.
   
   

Secret Number Nine: (You need: Any version of Netscape or Internet Explorer.)

My Porridge is Cold

1. Go to www.cardcarebiz.com.
   
   
2. At the site, type goldilocks into the search field on the upper right side of the page.
   
   
3. Click Go.
   
   
4. A hidden game will jump out at you.
   
   
5. Make sure you have your sound turned down if you're at work.
   
   

Secret Number Ten: (You need: Any version of Netscape or Internet Explorer.)

Elmer Fudd Speaks Pig Latin

1. To use Google, the search engine, as Elmer Fudd might, go to www.google.com/intl/xx-elmer/.
   
   
2. Have a thing (or possibly ingthay) for Pig Latin? No problem, it's at www.google.com/intl/xx-piglatin/.
   
   
3. There's also a spot for hackers at www.google.com/intl/xx-hacker/.
   
   
4. You must include that extra backslash at the end of each URL for the feature to work.
   
   

Bonus secret (not at your PC): (You need: An elevator.)

Floor, Please?

1. Some elevators include a neat hidden feature that's terrific if you're in a hurry. Try pressing the button of the floor you want to go to and the Door Close button at exactly the same time.
   
   
2. If it works, the elevator pops into an "express" mode, moving you directly to the floor of your choice and avoiding stops at any other floor.
   
   
3. Say to yourself, "Penthouse, please."
   
   

Haven't had enough? Browse through hundreds and hundreds of Easter eggs at www.eeggs.com and Easter Eggs.