10 fabulously exorbitant gifts for the geeky 1 percent

If you have money to burn and a fondness for all things nerdy, here are ten things you might want to get yourself or a like-minded friend.

Money is no object...

We get it. It's not easy being a stupidly rich geek with equally prosperous friends. You can't just buy something from ThinkGeek–that would be completely at odds with your illustrious status.

Fortunately, we've got your well-heeled, Armani-sporting back. Compiled for your viewing pleasure are ten of the most exorbitantly priced gifts for geeks we could find online.

PRIMA Cinema

If you have $35,000 to spare (plus an additional $20,000 per year for access to new theatrical releases), PRIMA Cinema will allow you to host "a red carpet premiere in your larger-than-life custom home theater" whenever you darn well want.

And before you ask, the home theater doesn't come included—it's really just the player, the movies (but only if you purchase those separately), and a biometric security device.

[Photo: PRIMA Cinema]

Killer Whale Submarine

When I was five, my mom posed a weird philosophical question to me: what is more important, money or love? I told her it was love. These days, I'm not so sure. After all, no amount of affection in the world is going to buy you a Killer Whale Submarine.

Priced at an ungodly $100,000, this personal sub can cruise along the water's surface at speeds of up to 50 mph, go down to depths of 5 feet (it goes up to 25 mph while submerged), porpoise like a real orca, and make Lamborghini owners go green with envy.

[Photo: Hammacher Schlemmer]


Suidobashi Heavy Industry's Kuratas is the closest we plebians will ever come to a bona fide, genuine-article mecha. It's about 13 feet tall, fully pilotable, fully customizable, compatible with the Kinect, and armed with a weapons system that is keyed to your sense of humor. Smile, and the Kuratas will express its joy by firing projectiles. This drivable robot will set you back $1,353,500, but if you pay an extra $100, you can get a cup-holder as well. Such a deal!

[Photo: Suidobashi Heavy Industry]

The Interactive Table of Swearing

I can only imagine how this one came about. One day, somebody probably looked up from their umpteenth craft beer and declared, "Let's make money off rich and silly people by making tables that will shout vulgarities on their behalf!"

Or something.

At about $80,510, the Interactive Periodic Table of Swearing is proof that money can buy the ability to emit profanities at the touch of a brightly colored, questionably labeled button, and that some people will buy anything. In spite of the astronomical price tag, the Interactive Periodic Table of Swearing is, for some reason, not voiced by Morgan Freeman.

[Photo: Firebox]

'Game of Thrones' Iron Throne Replica

As any Game of Thrones fan well knows, one of the most iconic elements from the series is the Iron Throne, an imposing-looking thing that many have waged justifiable war over. After all, who wouldn't want to look at lolcats from furniture built out of countless pointy objects?

Still, if you're a little too cultured to demean yourself with violence and have money to spare, here's an alternative: Buy this $32,206 160-kilogram (353-pound) replica of the infamous seat instead. Maybe.

[Photo: Firebox]

Dieselpunk Optimus Prime

Like any other child of the 80's, I am a huge Transformers fan. However, as much of a fan as I am, I'm not sure how I feel about this dieselpunk statue of Optimus Prime.

Measuring over 8 feet tall, this far-from-life-size representation of the Autobot leader will set you back a good $10,500 if you choose to purchase it for your lawn. Does it transform? Nope. But if it helps your conscience any, it's made from recycled parts.

[Photo: Kreatworks/Etsy]

Tron Lightcycle replica

Tron Lightcycle. Let those two words sink in for a moment. Made by Evolve Motorcycles and renamed Xenon to avoid unpleasant trademark issues, this Tron Lightcycle look-alike was powered by a Suzuki 996cc four-stroke engine. "Was" is the operative word here: Evolve Motorcycles appears to have discontinued production of this monumental-looking, $55,000 vehicle.

Fortunately, plenty of videos of Xenon owners are around, so if you're really desperate, you can always try to find those lucky chaps and buy their lightcycles.

[Photo: BikeExif]

JETLEV water-propelled jetpack

Described by its maker as "one part sci-fi, three-parts British secret service agent and 100 percent adrenaline rush," the JETLEV R200 is a water-propelled jetpack–the kind that will have you rocketing out of the water like Aquaman-made-modern-day-deity. Costing roughly $99,500, the JETLEV comes prepackaged with a whole bunch of stuff including a 4-day VIP Certified Pilot's Course and Certification.

[Photo: JETLEV]

Stock-car simulator

Love stock-car racing? Have $60,000 in your pocket? If so, step this way and check out this one-of-a-kind Stock Car Racing Simulator.

Designed to be the most realistic stock-car racing experience ever, the simulator comes with electric actuators that help reproduce actual racing conditions, a fluid-dampened steering wheel to further enhance the illusion, realistic pedal gear shifters, a 5.1 surround-sound system, and built-in stock-car racing simulation software. The only thing missing is the sound of your wallet crying softly to itself.

[Photo: Hammacher Schlemmer]

11 - The Beautiful Game Luxury Football Table

11 – The Beautiful Game Luxury Football Table is a decadent investment that will reduce the bank accounts of would-be customers by an epic $72,293.

Does it include bodily parts from David Beckham? Built-in artificial intelligence? A bunch of used t-shirts from the Manchester United team? Nope. It's just … artsy. In that respect, this game table certainly delivers. The oversized (and overpriced) toy has central lights that "automatically indicate the score" and "brushed chrome metal players," and it takes 12 weeks to produce just one table.

[Photo: Firebox]

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