This Internet Life: Bad Twilight spoofs and Facebook 'activism'

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The Internet features many people who hold the greatest intentions at heart. Be it to better-clothe the masses, write a collaborative novel, or promote equality, the online world sometimes achieves great things. Unfortunately, most people completely miss the mark and do something terrible.

The ten year-old hoodie

This hoodie will probably outlive your dog.

I don’t know about the rest of the world, but I like to swap around my winter clothes every now and then. According to Jake Bronstein, however, we all should keep our hoodies for at least a decade. He's such a zealous believer of this idea that he made a Kickstarter project to pay for a new line of sweatshirts of his own creation. “The clothes you’re wearing were designed to fall apart!” says Bronstein in his Kickstarter video. He goes on to explain what planned obsolescence is, and tells us how low our standards have become when it comes to clothing ourselves.

He then goes on to promote his incredibly plain line of very sturdy sweatshirts.

Without delving into the poor choice of clothing article to start a clothing line around, I know what planned obsolescence is, Mr. Bronstein. It’s the only thing keeping all of those Kohl’s employees their jobs. If people begin to make clothes that last decades, then dozens of clothing lines and manufacturing companies would collapse from the lack of business. Planned obsolescence is a thing because it helps to create jobs in the clothing industry. I think I’ll refrain from giving you my money, good sir—you have fourteen times your pledged goal covered already.

50 Shades of Green: a terrible novel written by many people

This movie practically makes fun of itself.

The website,, has been a mainstay on every hipster’s bookmark tab for years. The site features many notable video series, such as the Nostalgia Critic, Linkara, and (for a short time) even hosted Team Four Star’s Dragonball Z the Abridged Series. Last month, the Nostalgia Chick decided to kick off a massive collaborative project. Entitled 50 Shades of Green, the plan was to amass dozens of talented writers, wring their minds of every last drop of creativity and make… a comedic Twilight rip-off with aliens instead of vampires.

Now, I’m a firm believer in “write what you want,” but all I see in this project is wasted potential. There are already dozens of Twilight rip-offs plump and ready to be laughed at. The world doesn’t need another teen “lit” novel that’s funny on purpose instead of straight-faced stupidity. Remember kids, being ironically bad is still bad.

The “Red Equal Sign” on Facebook

Because so many of us are Facebook friends with Supreme Court Justices.

Oh Prop 8, how I’ve heard your name shouted across the Internet over the years. Who knows why it even exists here in California of all places, the state generally known for its laid-back nature. The day before the California Supreme Court’s deliberation on the topic, a LGBT Facebook group, Human Rights Campaign, began using a red equal sign as its profile picture in order to show its support for same-sex marriage. In no time at all, millions of Facebook profile pictures were changed to the symbol (or a hilarious derivative) in support.

It’s too bad Supreme Court Judges probably don’t use Facebook, or they would probably have been moved beyond words. Like the last two subjects discussed earlier, these people miss the mark—except on a rather massive scale. No matter how much support you express for homosexuality and same-sex marriage in California on the Internet, it doesn’t amount to anything unless you get off your computer and actually go out and do something productive towards your intended goal. Being so passive about it and still trying to call it any form of “support” for a cause is so laid-back and Californian that people outside of Facebook won’t even notice. If you want to make a difference, polish your picket sign-making skills, and go protest Prop 8!

This story, "This Internet Life: Bad Twilight spoofs and Facebook 'activism'" was originally published by TechHive.

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