Return of the Spam Heckler

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Gift Ideas

Show how much you love your lady, buy her Cartier earrings. The best gift for your boyfriend can be an Armani bracelet.

(from skelter23@europeanpeaforum.com)

And while you're at it, don't forget to buy presents for your wife and your husband, too, you sly dog.

Superbly crafted top quality items that look exactly like the real thing

(from pandaopolyCx@nymag.com)

We'd tell you what they are, but we aren't sure ourselves.

Top-quality Swiss construction available

(from faustina8f@blottomarks.net)

Antique clocktower in Berne; buyer must pick up.

lustr eless washt ubs

(from maximillion@minewoodfolk.nl)

Nothing says "Happy anniversary!" like one of these.

The Spiritual Realm

Sweet Lord, call me on my cell!

(from sven_yargs@pcworld.com)

....and let's discuss "unlimited minutes" at your place!

Muvizu brings CGI fimmaking to the masses

(from release@presswire.com)

Church officials have not revealed what they plan to do with the resulting fim.

Be concrete down there

(from dawelt@4u2b1directsales.com)

Excellent advice. Satan takes a very dim view of abstract thinking.

A Better You!

Stop feeling inadequate now

(from yodaman6145@bastelnet.bs)

And stop that sniveling, too, you worm.

Medically proven to add inches

(from sven.yargs@pcworld.com)

It's the all-butter diet.

No Pumps! No Surgery! No Exercises!

(from MarisolsolitudeBaraja@swaensohn.com)

Finally--a fitness program I can stick with.

With a giant instrument you have more chance to pick up women.

(from candidlys92@rejuvenationsspa.com)

A forklift, for instance, or really large tongs.

Scintillating Symbolism

0% night failure risk Make your volcano erupt more lava Recharge your package

(from bolanlexarthur@pcworld.com)

Hard to tell what he's talking about. Maybe if he added a metaphor or two?

Add power to your man's hammer

(from rupasta.narvain@cm-ajadudio.fr)

How did the volcano lava/package recharger/night failure risk guy miss this one?

Enlarging your male weapon means winning a competition.

(from junkingxr89@rickman.com)

The Self-Delusion Olympics?

Best! Drugs! Ever!

Easy to buy! We accept Visa, Codeine (the most competitive price on NET!) 7maa

(from chastityalyssa_wn@alewifetown.com)

However, we no longer accept American Express or Heroin.

Health problems? Forget about them with us.

(from mikhailleah7@riviera-repertoire.com)

We're heading over to the opium den--want to come along?

Reputable Viagra reseller

(from jyjeunexigyx1212@hindsitenet.net)

Talk about an oxymoron!

Do not underestimate the value of free pills

(from bailbond45@northxnorthwestelsevier.com)

Okay, Darth.

Solution for lonely men

(from auydaruvir6383@r&r&r&r&r.com)

Popularly known as "beer."

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