The Best of 'Damn You, Autocorrect'

Smartphones try to predict or correct words in the text messages people type, sometimes with disastrous results. Here are some of the best text-messaging gaffes submitted to

The Best of 'Damn You, Autocorrect'

The nice people at Damn You, Autocorrect (dot com) allowed us to scour their archives to bring you our favorite (and PG-rated) text messaging autocorrection disasters. Here they are--all 14 of them.

Work Turns Me On

Emily's friend is more than willing to offer her some advice. Emily may want to call her friend back after business hours, however.

The Babysitter

The nice girl that babysits for Mr. and Mrs. Lee may have some questionable friends.

Know Your Rights

Jillian's friend has a jolly time riffing on Jillian's text messaging gaffe. Love that last line.

Cocaine Puffs

And they wondered why the kid was hyperactive and had difficulty concentrating.

Sorry I Asked

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time--in this case in a cow jail and then a lick-down facility. Heather's text started out well, but it went downhill fast when autocorrect took over.

Dinner and Abduction

Please join me for a light dinner, followed by blindfolding, bondage with ropes, and then some home waterboarding. RSVP only.

If Goebbells Had an iPhone

He loved two things: the girl from the typing pool at party headquarters and der Führer.

God or GPS?

God says Nick is 20 minutes from his destination. GPS says 10. Rerouting.

Richard Ramirez Does

Some guys see rejection in everything. Sometimes with tragic results.

Makin' Babies

Jen and Chris were surprised to hear a shotgun blast outside as they put the last batch of brownies into the oven.


It's weird. Sometimes I look down and there they are, big as life. Then I go into the bedroom and get my "manssiere".

Fugue This Poopy

Mom gets her first smartphone and quickly becomes the victim of the evil people at Apple who made the autocorrect software.

I'm a Hot Mess!

Poor Lauren. Her doctor prescribed her Smurf control pills. Her mom brought a bunch of barfbags to her dinner party. What next? Damn you, autocorrect!!

Seriously though--how does autocorrect make "smurf" out of "birth" and "barfbag" out of "napkins"!!?? Those autocorrect developers MUST have a sick sense of humor.

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

That's probably the last ring he'll ever put on Anna's finger.

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