At this point I'm convinced the games industry is doing silly things just to provide material for this column.
John Cena reads poetry, Dragon Age has some disturbing "sexy" dialogue, and we get glimpses of both The Witcher 3 and the deceased Star Wars Battlefront III—this is gaming news you need to know for the week of October 20.
Connect your Kinect
If you bought an Xbox One before they stopped forcing you to buy a Kinect, you can now hook it up to your PC directly—provided you buy a $50 adapter. No, I don't know what the adapter does except make the price for an Xbox One Kinect match the price for a standalone PC Kinect.
And once you've developed a sweet Kinect app with the new SDK, you can even throw it in the Windows Store to rot for all eternity.
John Cena can read
Or, at least, that's the message I think I'm supposed to receive from this WWE 2K15 spot, wherein John Cena reads poetry. Maybe someone told the master of Basic Thuganomics it was a rap.
This is not sexy
Kotaku revealed Dragon Age: Inquisition received an M rating from the ESRB, which isn't surprising in and of itself.
What is surprising, maybe, is the quality of the dialogue it apparently received that M rating for. In addition to the typical qualms about violence, Inquisition's M rating comes on the back of "some dialogue referencing sex/sexuality."
The dialogue in question? "I will bring myself sexual pleasure later, while thinking about this with great respect."
I beg your pardon...?
Get over here
Remember that amazing live-action Mortal Kombat "trailer" from a few years back? The one that had the guy from Black Dynamite in it? Well, we're not getting anything related to that, but Warner Bros. did announce this week that it's formed a new division of the company (Blue Ribbon Content) to create a new live-action Mortal Kombat series, presumably before Mortal Kombat X launches in April 2015.
Let's be honest, though: It'll never surpass the 1995 film. "In each of us, there burns the fury of a warrior."
Another week, another set of absurd PC specs for an upcoming AAA game. This time it's Assassin's Creed: Unity, which unveiled its minimum and recommended specs earlier this week.
OS: 64-bit Windows 7 SP1, Windows 8/8.1
Processor: Intel Core i5-2500K @ 3.3 GHz or AMD FX-8350 @ 4.0 GHz or AMD Phenom II x4 940 @ 3.0 GHz
RAM: 6 GB
Video Card: NVIDIA GeForce GTX 680 or AMD Radeon HD 7970 (2 GB VRAM)
DirectX: Version 11
Sound Card: DirectX 9.0c compatible sound card with latest drivers
Hard Drive Space: 50 GB available space
Processor: Intel Core i7-3770 @ 3.4 GHz or AMD FX-8350 @ 4.0 GHz or better
RAM: 8 GB
Video Card: NVIDIA GeForce GTX 780 or AMD Radeon R9 290X (3 GB VRAM)
Right...A game that runs perfectly fine on less-than-impressive console hardware requires at least a GTX 680 to run? And this after Watch Dogs required merely a GTX 460 and last year's Assassin's Creed IV only required a GTX 260?
We won't know what's going on here until the game is released, and of course the crowd sizes in Unity are much larger than previous games, but even so this seems ridiculous.
Murder of crows
After teasing us with an image of an empty field, CD Projekt Red released the entire opening cinematic for The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt this week—wherein a crow flies through someone's eye socket and bursts out the back of their skull.
Don't take his name in vain
The creators of Paranautical Activity are scrambling this week after their game was yanked from Steam. The cause? Threatening Valve co-founder (and PC folk hero) Gabe Newell's life through Twitter. The tweet has since been deleted, but GameSpot snagged a screenshot of it:
Apparently Valve hadn't flipped the switch indicating that Paranautical Activity had moved from Early Access to full release. Tempers got heated. Tweets were made.
Here's your GI Joe-style PSA for the day: Don't tweet while angry. Ever.
I had very little interest in that upcoming Dead Rising movie, and then Legendary Pictures announced that Rob Riggle will play series mainstay Frank West. Bravo, Legendary—I'm now slightly (slightly) interested.
My old friends at Bloody Disgusting hit upon some fantastic horror news this week—Red Barrels is working on a sequel to Outlast. Said Red Barrels co-founder Philippe Morin:
"The game will be a survival horror experience and it will take place in the same universe as Outlast, but it will have different characters and a different setting. We might go back to Mount Massive Asylum one day, but for now we have new ideas and themes we’d like to explore and we think we’re cooking up something special."
And for more scares, be sure to check out our list of outstanding horror games this week.
Alas, poor Yorick
Before there was ever EA and DICE's Star Wars-themed shooter Battlefront, there was Star Wars: Battlefront III. All sorts of pre-alpha footage from the canceled game came out this week, so feel free to watch and weep for what could've been.
It's a reviews-heavy week as we continue through the fall—Civilization: Beyond Earth is stellar (albeit familiar), while the 20th anniversary remake of Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers is a bit less so. Oh, and give Spoiler Alert a miss. We'll also have a review of Dreamfall: Chapters Episode One up this weekend.
The Xbox One also added an ESL esports app, there's a South Park pinball table app, and Papers, Please creator Lucas Pope unveiled the demo for his new game this week (a murder mystery set on a merchant ship in the 1800s, done in 1-bit graphics).
And if you missed it above, 'tis the season to wet your pants—we rounded up some of the best PC horror games in honor of Halloween.