Give Your Lover a Virus This Valentine’s Day With Giant Microbes
By James Mulroy
There’s no better way to spend Valentine’s Day than having a nice candle-lit dinner, watching a movie, and cuddling with a deadly bacteria. Wait, what? I’m obviously talking about the lovable GIANTmicrobes. Scaled to millions of times the size of the real thing, these soft and squishy giants and nothing but cuddle-able. And they won’t kill you either.
GIANTmicrobes come in all shapes and sizes–everything from the common cold (Rhinovirus) to the Black Death (Yersinia Pestis). But with Valentines day right around the corner, GIANTmicrobes has released its Heart Boxes.
The Heart Warming gift box comes in a heart-shaped container, and includes a plush pink amoeba that is only available in this collection. Also included is a sperm cell and and an egg cell. But be careful; this box set also comes with Epsterin Barr–the feared kissing disease! Luckily for you, the Heart Warming gift box comes with penicillin to help you get your health back.
Surely, the Heart Warming gift box is perfect for a romantic night. But if you’ve got something, uh, a little more diabolical on your mind, the Heart Burned gift box is your ticker. This box comes with plush replicas of Herpes, Chlamydia, Pox, HPV, and Penicillin.
These wonderful cuddle-able microbes are really nothing but lovable, no matter how deadly the real things are. Each GIANTmicrobe comes with an image and a description attached. You can pick up your Valentine a Heart Box for 19.95 or you can individually pick from literally around 100 different GIANTmicrobes. They come in all shapes and sizes from a few inches to a gigantic 20 inches. GIANTmicrobes can be used by anyone from medical professionals and educators to gifts for your valentine.
In my opinion, these giants are absolutely awesome, and I’m cuddling with death tonight.