Portal 2 Delayed Until 2011, Safety of Planet ‘Assured’
By Matt Peckham
Teasing the press as much as telling, Valve says Portal 2 won’t be ready until 2011, and that we can all thank our deities-of-choice, in so many words, for the delay.
“Making games is hard,” said Valve in a press release that describes its upcoming geometry-bending first-person puzzler as a “public safety concern” that had to be pushed back to, you know, ensure the safety of civilization as we know it.
“Even though Portal 2 will arrive slightly later than planned,” reads the dispatch, “all life on earth won’t instantaneously stop as every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light, which is what would happen should a rip ever appear in the fabric of Valve Time.”