After years waiting, speculating, and beta-playing, StarCraft II finally lands this evening at exactly midnight. Here’s a list of to-dos to help you while away those closing hours, minutes, and milliseconds.
Pre-Order and Pre-Download a Copy of the Game. StarCraft II technically comes out in the U.S. tomorrow (it’s already out overseas) but if you pre-order and pre-download it now, you…still can’t play it tonight at precisely midnight. Nope. Blizzard’s making everyone wait until tomorrow, launch day, July 27, at exactly 10:00 AM PDT. Shake your fist at your computer screen and repeat after me: Boo hiss.
Check Out Blizzard’s Beginner’s Guide to StarCraft II. Skip the story and lore stuff (stories in RTS’s always suck) and focus on the Gameplay Overview. Skim the parts that make StarCraft II sound like every other RTS under the sun and study the user interface overview. Familiarize yourself with the GUI, then fantasize about trouncing glib contrarian writers who pre-hate StarCraft II and think Blizzard can do no right.
Play Some Limbo. It’s not a real-time strategy game, but it’s still probably better than StarCraft II…or anything else you’ve played this year.
Play Some Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II Chaos Rising. It is a real-time strategy game, and probably the best that’s come along since the original StarCraft. Make fun of anyone who disagrees.
Download a Countdown Reminder Tool. Set it to run until midnight tonight. Calculate the number of seconds left every five minutes and write this down. Divide that number by one. The result will be the amount of time you could have been doing something productive while waiting for StarCraft II to come out.
Read Patrick Miller’s Guide, How To Dominate StarCraft IIDo it. Miller knows his stuff. (He’s also pretty much telling you how to whup him.)
Program Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing for Hotkey Training. Set up a few macros and key sequences. Test your left hand’s ability to crunch hydralisks, upgrade roach warrens, and deploy dark templars. Realize that hotkeys are so 1998. Revel in the anachronism.
Take Cover in a Bomb Shelter. Blizzard’s StarCraft II website reads “nuclear launch detected,” so you’d better hurry. (That, or phone Homeland Security and offer them another rabbit hole to fall down.)
Hang Out On Blizzard’s StarCraft II Message Boards. Using your legal name to post, type up a polemic about mob-think message board collectivism. Accuse fellow forum-goers of being reactionary fools. After the death threats reach a fever pitch, enter a federal protection program and change your legal name for real.