As the end of 2009 creeps up upon us, the search engines are starting to release some interesting data. Google, AOL, and Yahoo all recently revealed Michael Jackson to be the top search term of 2009. Other hot search commodities for the year included “Facebook,” “Twitter,” and — thank you, fellow gentlemen — “Megan Fox.”
Now, thanks to a newly released list by Ask.com, we’re getting even more entertaining insights. Ask has just published its top search questions of 2009, taking into account all the actual queries typed into that little white box.
So what’s the world been wanting to know? Here’s an intriguing (and at times disheartening) glimpse into our collective curiosities.
How do I get pregnant?
I think we can all agree: If you have to search the Internet for the answer, you probably shouldn’t be trying in the first place.
How can I get a six-pack fast?
Step 1: Put down the sticky bun and get your lazy arse off the computer.
What is a 3G network?
I’ll take questions asked by AT&T for $500, Alex.
What is love?
Think they were wanting a literal answer, or just searching for a clip from Night at the Roxbury?
How do I delete my cookies?
And what kind of Web sites have you been visiting lately, pal? Eh? Eh?
How do I make a Web site?
Just head over to Geocit…oh, wait. Never mind.
Who am I?
For the sake of the last guy, let’s hope you’re a Web designer.
Is Adam Lambert straight?
Um, do you really have to ask?
Does my crush love me?
That all depends. Is he Adam Lambert, and are you a girl?
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Sounds like one of those cryptic Google interview questions. Quick, someone call Sergey.
When will the world end?
Right…NOW. No? Oh well. Was worth a shot.
What time is it?
Ninety-seven percent of those searches were made by that guy from the Spin Doctors.
Why is the sky blue?
Close runner-up: “Why is the screen of death black?“
What is Miley Cyrus’ phone number?
Last I checked, it was 1-800-STOP-STALKING.
When should I give my child a cell phone?
Not until he stops trying to track down Miley’s number…the perv.
Where the hell is Jeeves?
Okay, this last one wasn’t actually on the list. But I’d really like to know.
JR Raphael is co-founder of geek-humor site eSarcasm. You can keep up with him on Twitter: @jr_raphael.