That might’ve been the Facebook status update left by Jonathan G. Parker, 19, as he was inside the Martinsburg, West Virginia house he was robbing. Yes, you read that right. Parker was inside the house, checked his Facebook profile, and left his account open on the victim’s computer before fleeing. He was wicked hard to catch.
Parker entered through a bedroom window and ransacked two diamond rings worth more than $3500. The victim’s computer was in the same room as the rings, so maybe after he was through Googling “best escape routes,” Parker bopped onto his Facebook page. The victim also noticed that she and Parker had a mutual friend who later confessed to assisting with the crime.
I understand that Facebook is magically delicious, total HTML crack, but c’mon–you can wait until you get home to see if your Boston friend is making dumplings for dinner again or your Philly pal is watching movies with her cat. Now Parker faces between one and ten years in prison. That’s a long time to go without the glowing allure of Facebook.