The Phweet Heard ‘Round the World
Fake Twitter accounts have been in the news a lot lately. Last week, the Dalai Lama started tweeting, and then we found out “His Holiness” was actually a fake.
Kanye West dissed Stephen Colbert last year on Twitter. Then we found out it wasn’t Kanye after all. A White House Twitter account, which had been updated during the Bush years and then switched to Obama right after the inauguration, also turned out to be bogus.
And who can forget last month’s infamous Twitter hacks when pranksters took over the accounts of Barack Obama, Bill O’Reilly, and CNN’s Rick Sanchez, among others.
The 15 fake Twitter accounts that follow were not hijacked. Rather, this list of fake Twitter accounts we’ve assembled pays homage to or parodies the famous — no security breaches here.
Phony tweets are a terrific way to get across a laugh, but to be really great, a Phweeter (phony tweeter) has to stick with it. Unfortunately many Phweeters don’t. Some fakers who started hot but then drifted away include @osamabinladen, @hasselhoff, and @davidletterman.
After sifting through piles of bad, mediocre, and just plain unfunny impostors, we’ve come up with the best and most current phweeters worthy of pushing that “follow” button for.
Stewie
Name: @Stewie
Who he is: Stewie Griffin, the homicidal talking baby from the Family Guy cartoon TV series created by Seth MacFarlane.
Why he’s worth following: Several Stewie Griffins are out there, but this one is my favorite. The author has Stewie’s violent and authoritarian tendencies down pat.
How often he tweets: Stewie has only tweeted three times this year and has 12 tweets overall, but we’re hoping he’ll stick around and start tweeting more often.
Favorite tweet: “Oh sure I’ve spent my entire life trying to kill my mother, but who hasn’t?”
Chuck Norris
Name: @ChuckNorris_
Who he is: Action film star and all around ass-kicker.
Why he’s worth following: Chuck Norris facts have become a phenomenon in recent years, and the author has a great sense for creating new sayings as well as reusing some old ones.
How often he tweets: About three or four times a month when tweeting, but takes big breaks in between tweeting activity.
Favorite tweet: “Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.”
Megan Fox
Name: @the_megan_fox
Who she is: Actress and current male fantasy.
Why she’s worth following: The author of this one seems to be living out his fantasy of Megan Fox as a bisexual sex addict. These tweets are often offensive, but almost always funny.
How often she tweets: January was a heavy tweeting month for the author, but we haven’t seen anything since then. When “she” starts tweeting again, make sure you have your notifications on Twitterfox turned off. Most definitely NSFW!
Favorite tweet: “You know what tastes great? Me.”
Michael Bay
Name: @michael_bay
Who he is: Director and producer. Credits include Transformers, Armageddon, The Island, and Bad Boys.
Why he’s worth following: This is a classic fake Twitter profile. Recently, Twitter forced the author to make it clear he was not the real Michael Bay. Might have had something to do with the fact that this Michael Bay is obsessed with his own greatness and has a habit of saying, “F’yeah! ” or “BOOM ” in almost all his posts.
How often he tweets: 5-10 times per week.
Favorite tweet: “Endangered Species BBQ, my house, 1pm. “The fun’s not done till the last one’s gone.” @Becker- remember to bring extra panda this time. BOOM”
William Shatner
Name: @WilliamShatner2
Who he is: Actor, Captain James T. Kirk, T. J. Hooker, Priceline spokesperson.
Why he’s worth following: “The author of this profile recently surrendered @WilliamShatner to the real deal, but still revels in characterizing Shatner as an egomaniac at his new home.
How often he tweets: Every few months.
Favorite tweet: “… but you know, I’m not the jerk they say I am. In fact, I’m a completely different kind.”
Abe Vigoda
Name: @abevigoda
Who he is: Actor who’s most famous as Sgt. Fish in Barney Miller and as Salvatore “Sal” Tessio in The Godfather.
Why he’s worth following: In 1982, Abe Vigoda’s death was announced prematurely by People magazine (he is alive today and well into his 80’s). Ever since then Vigoda’s death has become a running joke. The author of this profile mentions Abe’s living status in every tweet.
How often he tweets: Daily.
Favorite tweet: “According to my iPhone app I’m still alive”
Dr. Tobias Funke
Name: @drtobiasfunke
Who he is: Repressed homosexual and psychiatrist in Fox’s “Arrested Development.”
Why he’s worth following: The author really embraces Funke’s repressed tendencies. He’s a little more overt than in the TV show, but if you were a fan of the show, this profile lets you relive the magic in 140 characters or less.
How often he tweets: 5-10 times per month.
Favorite tweet: “Watching the Bangcock replay of the Golden Globes. Its always more exciting to watch it in conjunction as my Thai friends. Miss you boys “
Bad Peggy Olson
Name: @BadPeggyOlson
Who she is: Prim and proper copywriter on AMC’s Mad Men.
Why she’s worth following: There’s a whole Mad Men universe in the Twittosphere—even the office Xerox has one—but @BadPeggyOlson is my favorite. Mad Men fans know that Peggy Olson is not as good as she seems during office hours, and this profile explores Peggy’s edgier side.
How often she tweets: A few times a month.
Favorite tweet: “@Xerox914 Don’t tell anyone about the confidential information I’ve been copying. Or the body parts. They’re for your eyes only. For now.”
CNN Breaking
Name: @cnnbreaking
What it is: Cable News Network.
Why it’s worth following: Fake news is always entertaining. This ain’t The Onion, but I’ll take it.
How often he tweets: Infrequently.
Favorite tweet: “Presumptive Democratic nominee Sen. Barack Obama has chosen mythological rabbit, The Easter Bunny, as his running mate.”
Jack Bauer
Name: @jackbauer
Who he is: Hot-headed government agent played by Kiefer Sutherland on Fox’s 24.
Why he’s worth following: The author creates a running commentary on Jack Bauer’s state of mind and follows 24’s current story line closely.
How often he tweets: Every few days when the show is running.
Favorite tweet: “Uh, hello? I’m undercover. Can’t really tweet what I’m doing. “Just shot and buried Agent Walker alive, LOL” Dammit, my ride’s honking, GTG.”
Nick Nolte
Name: @Nick_Nolte
Who he is: Famous actor.
Why he’s worth following: The author takes Nolte’s legal troubles and creates a real bad-ass who can’t seem to make the right choices.
How often he tweets: Daily.
Favorite tweet: “Breathin’ through a sweat sock soaked in ether. What I like to call a little Hair of the Dog.”
Roger Clemens
Name: @RogerClemens
Who he is: Famous baseball player.
Why he’s worth following: This profile hasn’t been updated since the summer, but might start up again when baseball season starts. The author characterizes Clemens as a steroid junkie who recently developed a crush on Miley Cyrus.
How often he tweets: Infrequent.
Favorite tweets: “Thinking Miley Cyrus sure is cute.” “About to inject Miley Cyrus, I mean MYSELF with steroids.”
Erica’s Fish
Name: @ericasfish
Who it is: A fish living in a single woman’s apartment.
Why it’s worth following: A fictitious fish that watches silently and with repressed envy as its “human” goes about her daily life.
How often he tweets: Several times a week.
Favorite tweet: “My favorite part of the day is when the human rolls half-conscious out of bed and trips on the ottoman on the way to serve me breakfast.”
Stephen Colbert
Name: @StephenTColbert
Who he is: Father of the Colbert Nation.
Why he’s worth following: A whole crop of Colberts is out there, but this one has been by far the funniest. @StephenTColbert is so realistic that many thought this was the real deal; Comedy Central even had to issue a denial that this was not the real Colbert. The author claims to have stopped tweeting and wants to hand over the profile to the real Colbert. Follow and find out what happens.
How often he tweets: We’ll have to wait and see.
Favorite tweet: “Like any good newsman, I believe that if you’re not scared, I’m not doing my job.”
Darth Vader
Name: @DarthVader
Who he is: Evil Sith Lord and father of Luke Skywalker.
Why he’s worth following: We’ve definitely saved the best for last with this hilarious insider’s view of the Dark Side.
How often he tweets: Daily.
Favorite tweet: “The bad news is we had to let go of about 8000 clone troopers today. The good news is it really only counts as 1.”